Trying Not To Disappear book cover

Book One · Shadows and Sunshine Chronicles

Trying Not
To Disappear

Some people survive.
Others just learn to disappear.

YA thriller · 294 pages
Kindle, Paperback, Hardcover

the story

What it costs to stay invisible.

Max Okeke escaped the Black-Box at twelve years old. That facility had no interest in names, only numbers. It ran experiments it called necessary, on children it called subjects. Max survived by doing the only thing that kept him safe inside those walls: feeling nothing.

Years later, he arrives at college with one goal: keep moving, keep his head down, and stay invisible. Then he meets Muriel.

Muriel does not fit any pattern he can calculate. She is fractured and guarded and achingly familiar in a way that tightens his chest. Despite every instinct warning him to keep his distance, Max cannot stop circling her. And she cannot quite bring herself to push him away.

But this is not a story about a boy who learns to feel. Not exactly. Because the past Max believed he had outrun is not finished with him yet. Old threats close in. Loyalties fracture. And in the space between the danger around him and the walls inside him, Max is forced to ask the question he has spent his whole life refusing:

What remains of a person when everything they were trained to be is stripped away?

Trying Not To Disappear is a YA thriller about survival, identity, and the quiet courage it takes to choose to stay.

Perfect for fans of Thirteen Reasons Why, They Both Die at the End, and The Perks of Being a Wallflower.

Chapter One

Fleeing the Abyss

He ran.

Max tore down an endless corridor, each breath a ragged intake against the blare of alarms that screamed from every direction. His lungs burned. His legs drove forward not because he had planned this moment but because the alternative was unthinkable.

The Black Box had treated them as lab rats — tools for experiments they called necessary and humane. Individuality had meant nothing inside those walls. All they had wanted were perfect, obedient subjects.

“Subject 17 and Subject 23 have escaped,”

The announcement cut through the alarms with surgical precision, and Max’s jaw tightened. No names. Never names. Only numbers.

Amid the chaos, Subject 17 faltered. His breathing had grown ragged before his knees buckled entirely, and he dropped — forcing Max to stop.

Despite his weakness, he had been the reason they were this far.

The planning.

The distractions.

The exploited security gaps.

All him.

Kindness was often a weakness. Max had seen it proven inside the Box, where compassion was punished without mercy.

Still — he lifted the boy onto his back. He ignored every instinct screaming at him to run. Their ragged breathing cut through the cold, metallic corridor as his legs burned beneath the added weight.

As the guards closed in, something broke through the chaos like a blade of light: a hazy blur, a commanding voice, figures dressed in blue.

ten years later

Sunlight streamed through the window, stark against the shadows of the nightmare he was clawing his way out of.

A steady beeping had replaced the sirens. Similar, but not a threat — just a clock. A reminder of a night ten years gone. Now it meant only one thing: get up for school.

He was awake. Alive. Free.

Undeterred by the alarm, Sam Safara remained stubbornly asleep, an absurd grin plastered across his face. Max studied him for a moment, then nudged him with a sigh.

“Time for school, Blockhead.”

He resisted the urge to shove him off the bed. Barely.

Chapter Two

The Anomaly

Max Okeke stood at the entrance of the sprawling campus of High-End Academy, his eyes scanning the bustling scene before him with clinical detachment. Students milled about, laughter and chatter filling the air. He noted the social dynamics at play, cataloging interactions as they unfolded.

Some sort of logic governed every movement, every decision each person made.

Beside him, Sam Safara nudged his shoulder, a wide grin plastered across his face.

“Come on, Max, loosen up a bit! We’re finally here — college! Can you believe it?”

Max turned to him, expression unchanged.

“Given the preparation we’ve undergone,” he said, “disbelief would be statistically unlikely.”

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